Musings from May

All things shall pass. Time… doesn’t exist. Death is merely a return to ash, from where we came. Death… is a reminder… of life, that we are, have been, will be, again, in the rhythm and cycle of life, birth, death.

Today has been a strange day, yet curious. Often I seem to say this… “strange”, perhaps a word I fancy. I discovered the root of my neurosis. A fear of letting others in, even those who think highly of me, or well of me… that sooner or later… their good opinion of me, will fade to ash, like death… nothing is permanent… yet… to love, to love… you risk transience.

Yet… if you desire friendship, lovers, truth… the only place you can exist, is in the transience. The fading light… forgiveness. A willingness to embrace change. That every dawn of your life, holds in its warm embrace, the seeds of a new future. It doesn’t begin tomorrow. It begins the moment you wake up.

Start with what you know, acknowledge what you don’t know… realising, what you don’t know, could fill volumes. And trust that’s enough.

I have a curious desire… for friendships that mirror self-worth, expansion, mutual development and spiritual growth. I desire it. I have a desire… for lovers… worldly… experienced and introspective… and present. Filled with presence, reverence for beauty, women, life, joy. And all the gifts of this physical plane. Abundant in health, sharp of mind and powerful in non-competitive business. Handsome too, athletic. I have a desire, to be his equal in love. A man who both delights my mind and arouses my senses. Who honours my sensuality and sets me free in love. To delight his. Who worships all faces of the feminine. Who knows his worth… and honours all women. 

I have a deep desire… to honour friendships filled with growth, possibility… change… spirituality, friendships formed in the spirit of love, kinship, courage, passion, fiery magic. Friendships with intellectual mettle, that challenge me to grow, to continually expand, to never settle, to question…

Friendships, forged with love… friendships, deep like the sea… and transient. To love, always, is to call upon the winds of transience. To dance on the prairies… beneath the stars, naked and seen. I desire this. 

I have a deep desire, to forge my own path through life. As I am now. I have forgiven, everything. How beautiful, this moment is. Courage, is always, worthy of respect. To pick up discarded dreams, to dust yourself off, is to have chosen perseverance. I have forgiven everything, because nothing is worth holding onto, that creates shame. Nothing is unforgivable. Nothing… is unredeemable. 

Your apology, is enough. In the face of truth, I am the most resilient being I know. Malcolm. Ghandi. There are others. Victor Frankyl. I guess, that’s why his story was so powerful to me – it is the story of resilience and triumph, of the spirit. 

No matter who you are and where you find yourself, in this moment, when you choose to soften, to bloom, to accept, to expand… you have. The world exists in the palm of your hand… and you are a speck on the Earth. Do you see what a miracle you are? 

Life will find you, with its games, temptations… the path that leads the straightest, doesn’t exist. If you choose it, it’s already yours. The rest is merely falling into place. It takes physical intangible time. When you think and feel well of yourself, the world is your oyster. The world reflects you back. So, smile.