Sometimes I still do this

Find fault outside of me. But then I would contradict myself. And now, sometimes, I’ll find that I catch these thoughts and ask why. I’ll find, I can love the part of me that easily spins into judgement, to love the part of me that is judging because who I’m really judging, is within me. The judge and the judged. I judge someone because I see an aspect of them that I’ve repressed in my own psyche. An aspect of myself that also, is dying for love. To be seen. Acknowledged.

The world is a mirror, a projection and its always been easy, to be the projector and to see other people’s projections, than it is, to open the lid and re-wire all the programming I no longer want. But that desire outstrips all of my old fears and I am determined.

Now… when judgement shows up, I have the patience to sit with it, to examine it, ask where it came from and love this part of me as well. It’s a work in progress. Sometimes, I have to remind myself that other people’s opinions, aka. judgements are no longer my business… but if, at any point, those opinions get a rise out of me, it’s because some part of me, is agreeing with them. That there’s a part of me that isn’t secure, that is getting triggered. The only quality my judgements are reflecting has nothing to do with the person who triggered something insecure within me, but entirely, what is asking for attention, within me.