When you’re unsure of who you are, take a breath and love where you are

I am sitting on the edge of the world, contemplating the stars. The Northern Lights dance just out of reach, between my fingers and the twinkling lights beneath me. The city is floating on light, gas and fiery desires. They look like butterflies, from my perch over here, a thousand li above the surface of the earth. 

I am thinking… of all the times I saw your shadow in the mist, between the trees and the flower kingdom… between new life and death, in every moment of transition, you never left the truth behind, you never promised more than you could be. I wonder where you are now, and the throbbing inside my chest, aches a little. Your whispers drift on the hazy shores, spiritous and windy and balmy. Soothing my soul with the melodies I wish I was better at writing. You said, you’d put the rainbow in the sky if I ever wanted to cry. You said, you’d soar through the skies, if I ever wanted to be free. You said… I could find you here.

I am thinking… life isn’t really a picnic. And you said that’s why you wanted to come. 

I laughed and you were like the ocean, calm and expansive, deep and sensual… meditative and ascetic. And behind your brown eyes, you adored the way humans wanted to change you, you said you didn’t mind. Losing those parts of you… because you were now us and we were you. 

I tasted my salty tears. Staring in the night sky, into the infinite darkness, you smiled and faded.