What does it feel like to let go?
What does surrender feel like?
What myth… am I over-riding right now? What strength am I calling upon? What winds… move through my hair, where have they been and what do they see? When the mountains rise from the ashes… and cities fall… and the cycle begins anew.
What does being seen feel like?
What does fear feel like?
Do you know what latent fear feels like? Do you know what overt fear feels like? When is fear… intrusive… and when does fear feel normal? Letting go of so much. Letting go of everything.
And yet… a part of me is still here… refusing to die. And… I would like death to be sweet. For the part that is afraid, that judges… to appreciate itself.
Do you know what feeling too much feels like?
When are you in another reality?
Where are you?
Would the world understand? Why should they?
What parameters are you measuring? Are you still? Do they serve you? IF not… perhaps it’s time to re-orient yourself. To forgive yourself, realising… failure is nothing more than an experiment.
And so… half a year later, you realise, how funny, everything is. How constructed, how real, how sad, how hopeful, how optimistic and how beautiful. Duality is simply the understanding that everything is changeable, movable, shifting and all realities… are within you.
This part of me is dying. It’s as though she is taking another breath… willing herself to live on… but I am in deep appreciation of her. I love her.
I am in deep appreciation of the places you’ve been,
the depths you’ve seen and the tears you’ve shed.
I am in deep appreciation of who you were,
all that you held dear,
that which hurt the most
once near to your heart,
I am in deep appreciation…
of the scars you cut across your skin,
of the pills you swallowed at sixteen,
shame fit itself snugly then
into the pockets of your jeans,
til the story wove itself a new beginning,
I am in deep appreciation…
for the relationships carving canyons…
for the ones taking the scent of Spring
echoing across the years,
blooming into barren places,
where was your voice?
lost? in the compass of the past?
you kept trying to say,
and choked on the lump
that formed in your throat,
why do you unravel the threads
and discover the meaning of home?
laughter blooming from your heart,
the stars… wind… trees and birds,
I am in deep appreciation of the identities you wore,
the hats you cautiously put on,
you looked up at the poems in the night sky,
I am in deep appreciation of your resilience,
the way you mined rocks out of your sadness
eons deep in the earth,
I am in deep appreciation of the histories you keep
etched into your skin,
fathomless with the universe
twinkling back at me.
I am in deep appreciation of the women
riding on the backs of constellations,
Mothers and sisters,
Brothers and kindred souls,
I am in deep appreciation
of the love you showed me,
In your kindness
your belief in me
shone the gift of gratitude,
the strength to be gentle
from your torch to mine
this is a poem
in this world…
for the feminine